


Your War's Not Ended

by BatmanWhoLaughss



Series: Your War's Not Ended [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebellion Era - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Aftermath of Violence, Angst, Canon Compliant, Family, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Hera Syndulla Needs A Hug, Kanan Jarrus Needs a Hug, Kanan Jarrus-centric, Multi, Post-Episode: s01e15 Fire Across the Galaxy, Post-Season/Series 01 Finale, Team Feels, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-18
Updated: 2020-05-25
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:29:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24246544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BatmanWhoLaughss/pseuds/BatmanWhoLaughss
Summary: Hera wasn’t sure what happened next. As if in a trance, she heard her own voice again, telling Ezra to get a medpack from the Ghost. She heard Ashoka speaking to Bail about a rendezvous with a medical ship, and she heard Sabine telling Zeb to carry Kanan to his bunk.They’d just gotten him back. She left him in that prison for two weeks, and he was finally home, and oh goddess, she was going to lose him.Post-Fire Across the Galaxy. Kanan comes back, and everyone starts to heal.
Relationships: Ezra Bridger & Hera Syndulla, Ezra Bridger & Kanan Jarrus, Kanan Jarrus & Everyone, Kanan Jarrus/Hera Syndulla
Series: Your War's Not Ended [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1759150
Comments: 36
Kudos: 130





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Tags will be Updated as this goes on. Did we really need another one of these fics? Probably not. Am i going to write one anyway? Of course. I can’t resist some post- torture feels.  
> This will mostly be Kanan/Hera-centric, but there will be some Kanan & Ezra and Kanan & team mixed in. Also probably some Hera & Ezra and Hera & Team. Kanan deserves hugs, okay? Lots of hugs. I'm going to write him some.

Kanan made it another ten seconds before he dropped like a stone. 

Ahsoka and Bail Organa had turned away, after dropping a bombshell that there were more rebel cells- many more. Kanan had a fleeting thought that he _really_ needed a drink, when the exhaustion and pain that he’d been pushing out for the past few hours slammed into him in one giant wave. The effects of the past couple weeks were finally catching up to him, and he couldn’t fight it any longer. The Empire had kept him alive, since he was no good to them dead, but they didn’t much care about his well-being. He survived by the skin of his teeth, forced from one interrogation to the next, with minimal recovery time. He’d been relying on his abilities to block it all out until he was back home, but his body was finally giving up.

He could see Hera and the kids standing in front of him, but his vision blurred as he swayed on suddenly unsteady legs. He felt the overwhelming urge to sleep, his entire body trembling. He thought he could hear voices, growing louder and more urgent. He thought he could see Hera’s bright green eyes trained on him in alarm, but he couldn’t be sure. He tried to brace a hand against the wall. 

“Hera…?” 

Then he blacked out.

\---

She knew what was about to happen before it did. 

Hera turned to look at Kanan as Ahsoka and Bail turned away, intending to force him to get some rest, but as she met his eyes she saw they were unfocused. He seemed to hunch over suddenly, swaying unsteadily as his eyelids drooped. Her heart leapt into her throat as he tried to brace an arm against the wall and missed. He met her eyes briefly, and she could see the mixture of panic and delirium in them. She was dimly aware of her own voice, crying out Kanan’s name in a panic as he fell backwards, Ezra thankfully managing to catch him before he hit the floor too hard.

Hera wasn’t sure what happened next. As if in a trance, she heard her own voice again, telling Ezra to get a medpack from the _Ghost_. She heard Ahsoka speaking to Bail about a rendezvous with a medical ship, and she heard Sabine telling Zeb to carry Kanan to his bunk. The next thing she knew, she was kneeling on the floor beside Kanan’s bed, watching his sleeping form. Sabine said that they’d be docking with a medical station within two hours, and she was pretty sure Kanan could hold out until then. _Pretty sure…_ As Sabine left, she grabbed Kanan’s hand where it hung off the edge of the bed, entwining his fingers in hers.

They’d _just_ gotten him back. She left him in that prison for _two weeks,_ and he was finally home, and _oh goddess, I’m going to lose him._ Her mind was spinning, so much so that she didn’t hear the door to Kanan’s quarters open. She didn’t feel the hand on her shoulder, or hear Ezra’s voice. “He’s gonna be okay, Hera. I can feel it.”

She knew Ezra must be hurting too, but she couldn’t bring herself to care at the moment. Her mind was consumed by guilt and anger at herself because _she left him there for so long_ , and she didn’t know how to be okay with that. She had told herself the Rebellion came first—the cause _always_ came first, but as she sat there, she never loathed the cause more in her life.

Hera sat unmoving on the floor of his quarters for a long time, until the kids arrived with Ahsoka and a droid to bring Kanan over to the medical frigate. She hadn’t even felt the jerking motion as the _Ghost_ came out of hyperspace. She’d been too busy watching the steady rise and fall of Kanan’s breathing, and his slack-jawed face as he slept. They loaded Kanan onto a stretcher, and Ezra reached to squeeze her hand as they crossed the threshold onto the medical frigate. _He’s going to be okay. He has to be okay._


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter wound up being way more Ezra & Hera centric than i thought it would. I really wish they'd address Hera's conflicted emotions about leaving Kanan behind in the episodes, so this is me rectifying that. Enjoy! Feedback is love as always. Kanan's waking up next chapter and things will continue to be angsty.

Kanan had been unconscious for two full cycles. 

The medical droids had moved him to a bed after a brief stint in a bacta tank. He hadn’t woken up once during the whole thing, and Hera was more scared than she’d been in a long time. She listened in a daze as the medical droid described his injuries, to her, the team, and some of the officers. Kanan Jarrus was covered in cuts, bruises, and even a couple of marks that looked suspiciously like  _ lightsaber burns.  _

His body had all but shut down after the escape, the extreme exhaustion and the aftereffects of repeated electric shock—the Empire’s preferred method, she knew—finally catching up with him. She could see the kids’ horrified expressions that probably mirrored her own. She knew she should say something to them, but she was too wrapped up in her own emotions to do it.

Hera hadn’t left his side, not even when Sabine gently tried to coax her to shower and rest for a couple hours. When she could tell Hera wasn’t going to budge, she had just sighed and left her a ration bar and a blanket. Hera could see unshed tears shining in Sabine’s eyes as she squeezed Kanan’s open hand—the one that wasn’t curled tightly in her own. Sabine muttered something in another language that sounded suspiciously like a prayer before she left them alone. 

Ezra came in the next day. By that time, Hera had calmed down a bit, enough to fuss over him and make him get his wound looked at by the medical droid. When he insisted he was fine, she gave him a look, and surprisingly, he didn’t protest further. She wondered if he could tell that she was desperate for a distraction, for  _ anything _ that would take her mind off Kanan lying prone next to her.

When his face was bandaged, Ezra came and sat by her side, rather than making a quick exit as Sabine had done. He gave her a soft smile before focusing on Kanan, a frown etched on his face. She could tell he was upset, maybe as much as she was. She itched to say something to wipe the frown off his face, but he beat her to the punch, reaching for her hand as he spoke. 

“When we were out there,” Ezra’s voice was low, but steady. “He fought off the Inquisitor. You should have seen him, Hera. He was amazing, even after everything they did to him. I’ve never seen anyone fight like that. I tried to help, but… it was all Kanan.” He squeezed her hand, and she tried to focus on Ezra’s voice and not on the fact that  _ Kanan had to fight for his life in his condition.  _

“He’s strong, Hera. He’s the strongest person I’ve ever met.” She could hear the tremor in his voice, but it was all she could do to stop her own tears. She needed to be strong, for Kanan and the rest of them. She wouldn’t cry, not now. “He’s fighting. I can  _ feel _ him fighting. He’s gonna be good as new.” 

She knew Kanan was going to make it; the medical droids had told them he would make a full recovery. They just didn’t know when he would wake up. His system needed to recharge, to give his body time to heal from what it had been through, and no one knew how long that would take. 

Hera managed to give Ezra a small smile. “Thank you, Ezra. Are you okay?” 

Ezra frowned at her. “ _ I’m  _ fine. We’re all fine. We should be asking  _ you _ that, Hera. Are you okay? Sabine said you haven’t left this room since… well, she said you haven’t been sleeping.” 

Hera smirked, in spite of herself. “And how does she know that? She’s only been here once.”

Ezra’s gaze turned sheepish, and he rubbed the back of his neck. “She  _ may  _ have told Chopper to hack the cameras in here so we could keep an eye on you two.”

Hera chuckled. “Of course she did.” Her eyes drifted to Kanan again, watching the steady rise and fall of his chest. “I can’t believe I left him there.” The words slipped out before she could stop herself, and she could feel Ezra’s eyes on her. “If you guys hadn’t cooked up that rescue plan, he might still be there. I told myself that the mission came first, but… I  _ hate _ that I thought losing Kanan was an option.” 

Ezra squeezed her hand again. “We knew your hands were tied. We could see what it was doing to you, having to listen to Fulcrum instead of going after him. So, we did what we do best. We forced your hand.” He smirked at her. They couldn’t possibly know how grateful she was for what they did, or how close she had come to doing it herself. 

“I’m glad you did. You’ve gotta let Kanan know, when he wakes up.” She knew Ezra could hear the somber note that crept into her tone. “He’ll be impressed that you guys pulled one over on me.” 

Ezra chuckled softly, before standing up. “Call us when there’s news?” 

“Of course.”

He laid a hand on her shoulder. “He’ll come back, Hera, and he’ll understand. I know he will.”

_ He’s become so much like you,  _ she mused, as she focused her attention back to Kanan’s sleeping form. The lump in her throat got bigger as she remembered her own words.  _ The mission can’t be jeopardized for one soldier.  _ Like a broken dam, tears began to fall down her face as she gripped Kanan’s hand tightly in both of her own. She felt his pulse, faint and fluttery but  _ there  _ nonetheless as she pressed her lips to his palm. 

Hera was sobbing earnestly now as she replayed the events of the past few days on a loop in her head.  _ How could I be so callous? He would never write me off like that. He would risk  _ everything _ to get me out, no matter what.  _

Kanan deserved better than this. He deserved so much more than a partner who abandoned him just because someone  _ told her to _ . She knew he would hate that she was beating herself up like this, but somehow that made it all the worse. Her sobs grew louder in the empty medical bay, and as the numbers on his heart monitor got higher suddenly, she wondered if he could sense it. He’d always been good at reading her, even without his Jedi abilities. 

“I’m sorry, love. I’m  _ so  _ sorry.” Her voice shook as she struggled to speak through her sobs. “Please come back soon. We need you.  _ I  _ need you.” She dropped her voice to a whisper. “I need you so  _ much. _ ” 

She rested her head on the side of Kanan’s bed as he slept, and sobbed until she fell into a fitful sleep beside him, her hand still clasped tightly in his. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the super fluffy sweet chapter before we get angsty again. Writing this made me super happy- it's also the first legitimate kiss scene I've ever written, so I hope I did alright. We're getting angsty again pretty soon, so prepare for more feels. Also, I definitely used the line from Iron Man because it's most DEFINITELY something Kanan would say and because I CAN. 
> 
> Shoutout to everyone who's left kudos on this fic so far, and to those who've taken the time to leave me comments: BG_Otaku, HunterByDayWhovianByNight, Gift, and TheOtakuWithHazelEyes
> 
> Hope y'all enjoy!

Kanan opened his eyes to an unfamiliar bright light. The holding cells he’d been kept in had always been dark, some pitch black so he couldn’t see his surroundings. This was… new. They usually kept him strapped to a gurney, slanted upright. This was…  _ am I in a bed?  _ He looked around, trying to get his bearings. He became aware of a dull beeping, something cold pressed against a spot on his chest, and something warm in his left hand. His gaze turned at the presence of something comforting beside him, and his eyes fell on Hera, curled up in a chair and sound asleep. 

_ No _ . This wasn’t right.  _ I gave myself up. They got away. Did they get her too?  _ Please _ tell me they didn’t get her too.  _ He became aware of a dull ache, spreading through him rapidly, but he couldn’t feel the familiar cold of the Inquisitor’s presence, or the Dark Side’s shadow on the star destroyer. Suddenly, the events of the past few days came back in one solid wave. Ezra breaking him out, dueling the Inquisitor, the overwhelming  _ panic _ he felt when he thought Ezra was dead… He gasped as it all came flooding back, and tightened his grip slightly on Hera’s hand.  _ I’m in a medbay,  _ he realized dimly.

She stirred awake almost immediately, looking around groggily before meeting his eyes. A smile wider than any he’d ever seen on her spread across her face, and he could swear the kriffing  _ sun _ came out in the middle of this ship. She grasped his hand in both of hers, and he returned her smile as he studied her face. Her eyes were puffy, with dark green bruises underneath them, like she hadn’t been sleeping.  _ Almost like… _

“Your eyes. Shed a few tears for your fearless leader?” His voice came out scratchy and hoarse, barely above a whisper. He tried to squeeze her hand where she held it in her own, but his body was still so weak that he could barely twitch his fingers. He’d meant for it to be lighthearted, a joke, like the ones he always made when they were in tense situations. He saw her eyes well up, though, and he wondered if he said the wrong thing. “...Hera?”

\---

Hera told herself she wouldn’t cry when he woke up. She wanted his first moments back to be pleasant, but when he spoke, his eyes looking at her with that mixture of affection and concern he always wore when he knew something was bothering her, she couldn’t help herself. She let out a shaky laugh, a couple tears escaping against her will and all but  _ hurled  _ herself at him, her lips fusing to his. 

She was careful, mindful of his injuries, but his hands were framing her face and his mouth was moving against hers, soft and languid and  _ alive  _ and she was suddenly desperate to get closer to him. His right hand cupped the back of her neck to bring her face impossibly closer and she all but  _ whimpered _ when she felt his left twine their fingers together. 

The position was awkward and clumsy, Kanan still mostly lying down and Hera leaning over him, but his lips never stopped moving, pressing against hers with increasing urgency. His strength seemed to be coming back, judging by the way his mouth was working, setting a bruising pace that she happily followed with another small, needy sound. 

Her brain was repeating a mantra of _you’re here, you’re okay, I can’t believe I almost lost you,_ and she felt him sigh against her lips as she took the lead. She knew he could taste the salt of her tears as they kissed, and he let go of her hand to brush them away, his touch feather-light against her skin. 

“ ‘M alright, love. ‘M here.” He mumbled the words against her lips, his tone impossibly soft so that only she could hear. “Can’t get rid of me that easily.” He was still hoarse, breathing hard as he broke the kiss and rested his forehead against hers. His blue-green eyes were locked on her, warm and open, his hands still framing her face. 

Kanan was giving her  _ that look _ , the one where his eyes lit up and his lips curled slightly and he looked at her like she hung the moon, and she felt her chest tighten again at just how  _ close _ she came to losing him. She felt him move, pulling her face back to his, when she opened her mouth. 

“Kanan Jarrus, don’t you  _ ever _ do something like that again.” It wasn’t what Hera wanted to say, but she rested her hands over his as she said it, watching his eyes darken slightly. Her voice was firm, steady in contrast to the tears still shining in her eyes. He settled his mouth over hers again, with the slightest amount of pressure, the kiss only lasting a moment before he pulled away. 

“Had to keep you safe. You and the kids. You found me.” His voice was still impossibly soft. “You always find me.” 

She dropped her eyes to the floor. “I’m so  _ sorry _ I left you there for so long.” That infuriating lump in her throat was coming back, the tears threatening to spill over again. She felt his fingers find her chin, tipping her face back up so he could meet her eyes. She saw none of the anger or bitterness she expected-- his eyes were still soft and open, the way she always loved. 

“ ‘S okay. It’s all okay. Thanks for getting me out.” She moved to say something, but he dragged her face back to his again instead, letting out a small, satisfied  _ hmm _ as their lips melded together and he tightened his grip on her. She felt his mouth open, felt his tongue meet hers as she let out another small whimper, and she was just about to do that  _ thing _ he liked when-- 

“Kanan!” 

She pulled away at the sound of Ezra’s voice, noticing the way Kanan all but  _ pouted _ beside her, and saw Ezra, Sabine and Zeb standing in the doorway. Ezra’s smile spread across his whole face, Sabine was smirking knowingly at the two of them, and Zeb looked all but mortified, like he’d rather be anywhere else. Even Chopper made an appearance, rolling in after the rest of them and though he grumbled about it, Hera could tell he was happy too. 

She wiped at her eyes, still determined not to cry in front of the kids. They made their way over to Kanan’s side as Hera helped him sit upright, trying to ignore the way his tiny grunts of pain pulled at her heart. Once he was upright, he kept his fingers laced with hers, giving her a soft smile that made her flush--  _ he always knows how to push my buttons. _

They were all fussing over him then; Ezra got him some water, Sabine was badgering the medical droid, trying to figure out when he’d be able to leave the medbay, and Zeb made sure Chopper didn’t hit Kanan like he always did. Hera just stared at Kanan, making a mental note of every time he winced, groaned, or gave any indication of being in pain. He glanced over at her, and his eyes seem to say  _ I know what you’re doing, love-- it’s sweet of you to worry. _

“How are you feeling? Are you okay?” That was Ezra again, still grinning from ear to ear. Kanan rested a hand on the boy’s shoulder, looking at him with so much affection that it made her heart swell. 

“I’m alright, Ezra. Nothing a few days won’t fix.” He frowned, then, running his hand over the bandages that still covered the right side of Ezra’s face. “Are  _ you _ okay? You took a pretty big fall charging the Inquisitor.” Hera could hear the tension in Kanan’s voice, along with the tone he always used when he thought something was his fault. Kanan’s hand came to rest back on Ezra’s shoulder again. 

“I’m fine. Better than fine- I’ve got a cool scar now!” 

“You think  _ that’s  _ a scar? That’s nothing. Mandalorians have got scars that make that one look like a paper cut.” That was Sabine, rolling her eyes and ribbing Ezra like she always did. Kanan laughed, his eyes bright and shining again, and Hera wanted to commit the sound to memory. 

“I’m proud of you, kid.” Kanan smiled. That was directed at Ezra, and Hera saw the blush coat the boy’s face. “You’ve come a long way in a short time.” He turned to face the rest of them, wrapping his arm around Hera’s shoulders in a rare public display. Hera tried to ignore Chopper’s warbling, which was warning Kanan to keep his hands to himself. She couldn’t help the smile that spread across her face. “I owe you all. I said it before, but thanks for coming back for me.” 

“Of course.” Zeb crossed his arms over his chest. 

“We blew up a Star Destroyer. Was never going to pass up that chance.” Sabine rolled her eyes, but Hera could hear the implied message.  _ We were never going to leave you behind. _

“You’re family, Kanan. We’ll always come back for you.” Ezra moved to Kanan’s other side, wrapping an arm around his waist. Kanan curled his other arm around his apprentice, and Hera could practically feel the contentment radiating from him.

Chopper chirped out a series of beeps.  _ I didn’t have much of a choice. Someone had to save all your skins.  _ Hera chuckled. 

The medical droid returned then, ushering them all out of the room. Kanan needed to rest, he said, and though the man in question grumbled about it, he lay back down. Hera didn’t move, and the medical droid stopped trying to force her after she gave him a look that could melt kyber.

Kanan huffed. “Feels like I’ve slept for a year. Don’t need more sleep.” He sounded like a petulant child, and Hera couldn’t help but jab him lightly in the shoulder. 

She grabbed hold of his hand again. “C’mon love. Do what the doctor says and you’ll be out of here soon.” 

He was still pouting, but he gave her a smirk. “Wish this bed was bigger.” 

She laughed again. There was the charmer she liked so much. “You need to rest. We can get to that when you’re better” She pressed her lips to his forehead as his eyes drifted closed. “I’ll be right here.” 

“You’re always here.” He sounded almost awestruck as he squeezed her hand one more time. It was almost like he still didn’t believe she cared about him, even after all this time. A few moments later, she felt his breathing start to even out-- he must have been more tired than he let on. She let him drift off to sleep, still not letting go of his hand.

As the medical droid brought her a caf and a ration bar, she settled in to wait, still unable to wipe the smile off her face.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the super angsty chapter, as promised!! I hurt myself writing this, but don't worry, there will be more fluff to come, for sure.  
> Warning for descriptions of violence in this one. Not sure if it really fits the archive warning, but I'm going to tag it anyway just to be safe. 
> 
> Huge thanks to everyone who's taken the time to read this so far- it's been super fun to write!! Enjoy :)

Kanan was released from the medbay the next day, and the look on his face when he stepped back onto the _Ghost_ made Hera want to jump for joy and bawl her eyes out at the same time. It was almost like he couldn’t believe he was back here, like he was committing the ship to memory all over again because he thought he wouldn’t see it again. 

Hera led him back to his quarters, one arm laced through his for support, even though she knew he could manage on his own. He’d given her a look when she took his arm, one that plainly said, _really? I can manage._ She’d silenced him with a look of her own-- _just let me do this, love._ They’d fallen into this rhythm early on in their travels together, communicating with looks and gestures instead of needing to rely on words. He hadn’t complained any further, letting her walk him to his bunk. He was still wearing the white clothes he’d been wearing in the medbay, and she could tell he was itching to get out of them. 

He reached behind him to pull his shirt over his head, but stopped as he let out a sharp hiss of pain. Hera was at his side immediately. “Let me.” She helped him get the thin material off, moving slowly to avoid hurting him. She threw the garment onto the bunk behind him, then let out a sharp gasp as she took in his bare chest. 

Bruises covered a large portion of his stomach, dark, purple, and blotchy. There was a full line of bruising on his lower abdomen-- where the restraints held him down, she surmised. There was an angry red mark on his shoulder, near his old blaster scar from the Clone Wars, and some more bruises around his wrists and forearms. She’d always hated seeing him like this; the times where she had to patch him up after missions gone bad weren’t times she liked to think about. This, though… this was so much _worse._

\---

Kanan saw Hera’s horrified expression as she took in the sight of his skin. Her eyes had a look of anger and terror worse than he’d ever seen on her as she stared at the marks leftover from his capture, and he met her fearful eyes with his own. She reached out a hand to gently run it over the marks on his chest, and he bit back the hiss of pain, even though her touch was feather-light. 

She traced the spot where the Inquisitor touched his lightsaber to his shoulder, and even though he was still sore, the burn tender, he focused on how _good_ her hands felt on him. There were times during his stint in prison where he wondered if he would ever get to feel her again. He’d gladly take a few sore spots over the alternative. He reached for her hand where it had come to rest on the side of his face, closing it over hers. Hera was still watching him, studying him with a look of concern. 

“It looks worse than it is.” She gave him that look she always did when she wasn’t buying what he was selling. 

“It looks pretty bad, love.” 

“I’m okay, Hera.” He smirked. “Now, unless you want to re-christen the bed, I’d better finish getting dressed. I’m sure the fleet has questions for me.”

“Commander Sato and Ahsoka wanted to speak with you. But it can wait-”

Kanan shook his head. “Better to do it now, while it’s all still fresh.” 

“Are you sure? You can talk to them when you’re better.” 

“I’m sure.” He’d rather get it over with; he wasn’t exactly thrilled with having to rehash the whole thing. “Rather put it behind me.” His voice was hard, showing more resolve than he actually felt. 

“They’ll be waiting for us in an hour, then. Need anything before that? Food? Water? Pain meds?” 

“I’m fine. Gonna try meditating a bit. Clear my head.” She nodded beside him, squeezing his hand before leaving him alone. She dimmed the lights as she went, to the setting she knew he liked while he was meditating. It made his heart swell to know how well she knew him. He knew it was selfish to keep her from her duties to the Rebellion, but a part of him was incredibly grateful that she was still here, that she was taking care of him like this.

He finished getting dressed slowly, mindful of his still aching body. Kneeling, he closed his eyes and focused on taking deep, calming breaths. _I am one with the Force. The Force is with me._ He felt the energy flowing through him, the Force like a cushion that pushed his focus away from the dull aches and pains he was still feeling. 

Normally, when he meditated, he could stay in a trance like this for hours at a time, his mind getting lost in the infinite waves of the Force. Today, though, he felt blocked, like something was keeping him from focusing on his center and letting go. 

A few minutes later, he flinched as memories and images started coming back to him. The Force ebbed away as the face of Tarkin and the Inquisitor loomed large in his mind. 

_I know nothing of a larger rebellion._ He flinched, almost strongly enough to fall over, as the pain of the phantom electroshocks spread through him. 

_Tell us where your friends are hiding and this will all be over. Your Padawan-- the boy, Ezra Bridger. The Twi’lek pilot. Tell us._ The memory of the Inquisitor pushing at his mental defenses overshadowed the comforting presence of the Force. _Not them. Anyone but them. Never._

Kanan cried out, falling back from his kneeling position and clapping a hand to his forehead as the pain of the Inquisitor’s lightsaber surged through him in one white-hot wave. He took a couple of deep breaths, trying to slow his now lightning-fast heartbeat. _I’m home. They’re safe._

He stood up, running a shaky hand through his loose hair. Meditation was a no-go then. He’d hoped it would help clear his mind, get his head in the right place to answer the Rebellion’s questions. Instead, he was still reliving his interrogations, the Force powerless to stop his fear. He never felt so small in his life. 

With a sigh, he begrudgingly reached to tie his hair back and pull on his boots. He made his way over to the airlock, where the fleet was waiting, and tried to put on a brave face.

\---

Kanan seemed remarkably calm, Hera thought, though anyone who knew him well would know the lengths he was going through to try and hide it. 

They were all gathered in the briefing room. Hera and Kanan stood opposite Ahsoka and Sato. Ezra, Sabine and Zeb stood off to the side. They’d insisted on being here despite Hera’s protest. She’d told them they didn’t need to hear this, but when Sabine crossed her arms, her face in a hard line, and Ezra gave her that look he always wore when he was determined to see something through, she stopped fighting them. 

Kanan seemed relaxed, trying to put on a brave face for everyone else, but Hera could see the way he was hunched over, his shoulders stiff. She watched his eyes, steely and determined, but betraying a hint of pain that he was intent on not letting through. Her hand squeezed his shoulder and he smiled at her, grateful for the moral support. 

The questions were standard for a debrief. Sato wanted to know what the Star Destroyer looked like, what their defenses were like, what questions they asked. He asked about the Empire’s interrogation tactics, but Hera could tell they were shying away from the gory details, for Kanan’s sake. He was an open book, though, offering the Rebellion all the information they wanted with a blank look on his face. She was torn between being immensely proud of him and being thoroughly upset that she was putting him through this. 

Hera noticed Kanan watching Ahsoka intently, his eyes a mix of curiosity and awe, and a wave of anger coursed through her. He’d spent his entire adult life, from the time he was 14 until just a short while ago, thinking there were no other Jedi left. . She knew how alone he felt, how much he would have loved to know there was someone else who shared his pain, but Ahsoka chose to keep herself a secret from him anyway. Her hand tensed on his shoulder and he glanced up at her, but she shrugged him off with a shake of her head. She could deal with her own feelings once the briefing was over.

Eventually, they finished with him and he stood up to leave, muttering something about needing some caf. She watched the door close behind him, shaking her head at Ezra as he began to follow him. He needed to be alone right now, she knew. Ezra could talk to him later. Plus, the briefing wasn’t over; there was clearly more Sato wanted to discuss, since he hadn’t dismissed them yet.

“He’s strong,” Sato muttered. “But two weeks in Imperial custody is a long time to go without disclosing anything, even for a Jedi.”

“You think he’s lying?” Hera was surprised by the anger in her own voice. She _never_ mouthed off to superior officers, but she could see similar sentiments on Ezra and Sabine’s faces. 

“He’s telling the truth.” That was Ahsoka, looking at Sato as she spoke. “We were trained to resist mind probes, and I could feel the truth of his words.” 

Hera breathed a sigh of relief. Kanan had been through enough already without the Rebellion thinking he was a traitor. 

“Sir!” One of the technicians in the briefing room came running up to Sato. “You’d better see this.”

He entered a disk into the briefing room central console and pressed a button. “We intercepted this about an hour ago. It’s broadcasting on all Imperial frequencies around Lothal.” The holoprojector lit up with the Imperial insignia before Grand Moff Tarkin’s face filled the screen.

“Citizens of the Empire. This message is for these so-called _rebels_ , who terrorize our society with insurrections, as well as for any citizens who might sympathize with or assist them. Rest assured, the Empire will NOT tolerate dissent of this nature, as it presents a danger to our peaceful galaxy.” 

Hera’s eyes were blazing with fury, and she could see Ezra and Sabine tense up across the room. “We have recently captured one of these so-called freedom fighters.” Hera’s breath caught in her throat, her heart suddenly racing. “Allow me to show you what the Empire does to traitors, and to those who assist in their campaign of terror. We take the safety of our citizens very seriously, and thus these crimes are subject to severe punishment.” 

The projection changed suddenly, and they were watching Tarkin pace around a small room. There was an upright gurney in the middle of it, and Hera froze, her eyes widening and fists clenching when she took in the sight. 

Kanan Jarrus was stripped to the waist, sweaty and panting, his hair hanging loose around his face. There was blood running down a cut on his arm that matched a faint mark she’d seen when he came back, and the burn on his shoulder was an angry black, indicating it was brand new. Tears were leaking out of his tightly-closed eyes. 

An angry, white light surrounded Kanan’s projection, and suddenly he was screaming, ragged and raw and never-ending. The entire room froze, transfixed with such horror that no one moved a muscle, not even to turn the transmission off. Kanan’s cries of agony filled the small briefing room, piercing through Hera like bullets as she felt tears welling in her eyes. She hated showing weakness in front of the Rebellion, but right now she couldn’t bring herself to care as she watched her partner, her _best friend_ and the man she loved let out shriek after broken shriek. 

The light died, and Kanan’s screaming changed to a hacking cough. “Why do you and your Rebellion insist on sowing chaos in the galaxy?” Tarkin was shaking his head, looking at Kanan with something akin to pity. 

It was a rhetorical question, she knew. Hera tore her gaze away from Kanan long enough to see Ezra and Sabine, Sabine watching Ezra intently with a firm grip on his arm. He looked nauseous, his face pale and his eyes wide. Sabine looked furious; her eyes held more fire than Hera had ever seen, and she looked like she wanted to take on the entire Empire single-handedly. She knew she should make them leave; they didn’t need to see this. Her own feet were glued to the floor, though, her hands clenched into fists and her body still frozen in shock. 

Kanan’s breathing was still heavy, tears streaming down his face in full force now as his eyes opened. Hera’s heart stopped over again as she saw them; his eyes were unfocused, full of fear and pain and utterly, _utterly_ defeated. He opened his mouth, his head lolling to one side as he struggled to speak through the delirium. 

“I don’t… I don’t know anything. Please, _please,_ I don’t- I swear I don’t just make it _stop_ .” He was sobbing now, his head thrown back and his eyes closing again. Hera was dimly aware of her knees hitting the floor, but her vision was blurring and she was seeing red and the only thing she could physically process right then was that _someone made Kanan beg._

She’d never heard Kanan beg for _anything_ , not once in the entire 6 years she’d known him, and the fact that she turned her back on him while they reduced him to a sobbing, broken _mess_ was physically ripping her apart. The fact that he’d managed not to give anything away under those conditions was admirable, but she couldn’t bring herself to care. Tears were steadily flowing down her face as the broadcast switched back over to Tarkin’s face, but the image of Kanan’s broken body was permanently burned into her mind. 

“Anyone caught assisting traitors or participating in Rebel activity will suffer the same fate. Join me in rejoicing that this terrorist received the punishment he deserved.” 

Hera came back to reality to see Ezra kneeling next to her, his face just as tear-streaked as her own. He helped her to her feat just as they heard something shatter loudly behind them with a _bang_. 

Kanan’s face was impossibly pale, the light fixture above his head hanging from the ceiling by one hinge. She could see him shaking even from the other side of the room, and one look at his eyes told her he’d been watching the whole thing. 

His hands were clenched into fists, and she could feel the energy coalescing around him. He was dangerously close to losing control, and Ezra froze; he could feel it through whatever bond they shared. She reached for Kanan, wanting to do _something_ to take that look off his face, but he backed out of the room before she could blink. He moved so fast that she suspected he was using the Force to aid his hasty exit.

They were all crying now, as Sabine removed the disk from the console and crushed it under her foot. Her furious expression said that she wanted to waltz into the Emperor’s throne room herself and put a blaster bolt in his head. Even Sato and Ahsoka looked visibly shaken, even though Hera knew they had to put on a brave face for the crew. 

_The Empire rules with fear._ She remembered Fulcrum’s words from one of her early missions, but the fact that they used _Kanan_ as their weapon made her blood boil. They’d tortured him, turned him into a shell of who he was for their own amusement while he stubbornly kept the team’s secrets. Now the Empire were using his suffering against him, against the Rebellion. She knew he never would have wanted them to know how close he had come to breaking; he would never want them to see him like that. 

That thought was the one that broke the dam, that made Hera push herself off the floor and go after him. Ezra and Sabine followed close behind, all three of them rushing to get back to the _Ghost_ and ignoring Sato’s voice behind them, telling them to wait. As she turned back briefly, she was surprised to see Ahsoka was following them, silencing Sato with a look that brokered no argument. She caught up to them and grabbed Hera’s hand, and somehow her presence made her feel calmer somehow. 

It almost made up for the fact that it was Fulcrum who forced her to leave Kanan behind, but she pushed that thought out of her mind as they made their way back to the airlock. This wasn’t about her. This was about Kanan. He was family, and he was hurting, and the Rebellion could _wait._ The Rebellion _would_ wait.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO. I've decided to make this the last chapter of this fic. HOWEVER, I plan on writing a couple sequel fics to this, so I've made this the first of a series.  
> There are still a few more scenes I want to write that show what happened after Kanan came back from Mustafar- namely a conversation between Kanan and Ahsoka, a scene between Hera and Ahsoka, and Ezra and Kanan. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized these scenes worked better as companion pieces/sequels to this fic than as chapters themselves, and that I settled on a nice place to end it in this chapter.
> 
> The story's not over! Stay tuned for more fics in this series (and feel free to drop a comment if there's something you're interested in seeing- I can try and work it in. :) ) HUGE HUGE thank you to everyone who's left kudos/comments on this fic- it's been really fun to write, and I hope you enjoyed it. I also hope you continue to enjoy it as the story continues!

Kanan heard the door to his quarters shut behind him, but it barely registered. He was on his knees, his head bowed low and his body trembling. His breaths were coming short and fast, to the point where he was almost hyperventilating. 

He couldn’t get the image out of his head: his body projected in the middle of the briefing room and his sobbing face begging Tarkin to stop. He hadn’t known Tarkin was recording, but he shouldn’t have been surprised. Making a _Jedi_ beg for mercy had to be a crowning achievement for an Imperial. Kanan said he’d keep Tarkin entertained, but he didn’t realize that the whole _system_ would be treated to that _entertainment._

He sighed deeply as he curled further in on himself, his body still shaking as he tasted bile in his mouth. His stomach was churning; he felt vaguely nauseous as he remembered the look on Hera and Ezra’s faces when they saw what he’d been through. His emotions were a mess. He still felt the paralyzing fear of the interrogation chamber, the echoes of pain where the electricity had coursed through his body, and the overwhelming _relief_ he felt when Hera and the kids busted them out. But now, there were new, messy emotions mixed in: the shame and embarrassment that the Rebellion and the _Ghost_ crew saw him break, the sickening feeling he always got when he saw Hera in pain, and the sense of grief that he suspected was coming from Ezra.

He could hear voices outside the door talking in hushed tones. He strained his ears as he could just make out Hera’s voice. “-et me talk to him first. He needs some space right now, Ezra.” He heard the door open before he felt her beside him, her presence a soothing beacon in the dark room. Her hand came up to rest on his upper back, between his shoulder blades, and the other reached to grab his hand. 

“Kanan?” 

“I’m sorry.” It was out of his mouth before he even knew he was saying it, and suddenly he couldn’t get the words out fast enough. “I’m _sorry_ Hera, it was too much, there was so much _pain_ , but I _swear_ I didn’t tell them anything. I didn’t want you guys to see that, _never--”_

“Kanan, love, breathe for me.” She brought his hand to rest on her chest, right over her heart. “With me, come on. It’s okay.” He tried to take deep breaths, but his chest was still rising and falling faster than it should be. He _hated_ that he was disappointing her.

“I can’t--”

“You can. Come on, Jedi, in and out.” He glanced up at her with panicked eyes, his breaths still coming too quick. Hera was patient though, slowly counting with him to time his breaths, like the old masters used to do at the Temple when they were training him in meditation. His breathing gradually started to even out to match hers, and her hand was still rubbing his shoulders the way she knew he liked. He always did like making her happy, and he couldn’t stand the sight of the still-fresh tear trails on her cheeks. 

The smile she gave him when she saw him starting to calm down, though, made him feel a little warmer. That smile had gotten him through some particularly brutal torture sessions. When the pain got so bad that he couldn’t think straight, he would picture her face, her laugh, and the sound of her voice, and the pain always seemed slightly further away.

Once his breathing had fully returned to normal, he looked her in the eye. “I broke, Hera. I tried so _hard_ not to give them the satisfaction, but I did anyway.” 

“It’s alright, love.” She ran a hand down the side of his face. “You held out as long as you could. I wouldn’t have done much better, and you didn’t tell them anything. We’re all safe because of _you._ ” 

A small part of him knew she was right, but the bigger part, the one that was still drowning in shame and fear and self-pity, didn’t believe it. “I never wanted you guys to see that. What’s Ezra going to think if his master can’t hold it together?” 

“Kanan, come on.” Hera was giving him her patented _Kanan Jarrus, I am tired of your banthashit_ look, and his eyes turned sheepish under her gaze. “You’re human. We all have a breaking point. You’re so strong, and we just want you to be okay.”

“But--” 

Her eyes bore into his. “No buts. I know you want to protect everyone all the time, but it’s time that you let someone take care of you for a change. We’re going to get through this. Ezra cares about you, just like I do, and we all want you to get better, okay?” 

Kanan couldn’t help but smile at her when she was looking at him like that. “Okay,” he mumbled, his voice small. She hugged him then, pulling him against her in a tight embrace. It was soft and warm and it was washing away the memory of the interrogation room as he pulled her closer. He buried his head in the crook of her neck, breathing in the scent of her, the comforting aura of her presence in the Force. 

He lost track of how long they sat there, but suddenly the door opened and Ezra was there, his presence solid and clear next to him. He was smiling softly, and then he was hugging them both, the three of them awkwardly sitting on the floor of his cabin. Then Sabine was there, and Zeb, and even Chopper, all of them crowding the cabin and joining in on the sloppiest, weirdest group hug he’d ever been a part of. Kanan didn’t care though, tightening his grip even though it was impossible for him to reach all of them. 

They had to be uncomfortable, here on the floor of the ship, but they didn’t seem to mind as they stayed clumsily attached to each other and to him for what felt like hours. The surge of pure and utter _joy_ that rushed through Kanan as they all surrounded him was profound; this was the first time they’d ever done this, all six of them together. And they were doing it for _him._ He could even see Ahsoka standing by the door and smiling softly, before turning and moving towards the cockpit. This moment was just _theirs,_ just Kanan and Hera and the family they’d built together.

They were talking to him, mumbling that they missed him, that he was home and he was okay. They told him about all the things he missed right there in their odd little circle. They didn’t move until Hera all but forced them from the room when she saw Kanan’s eyes drooping. He tried to tell her to go too, that she needed to rest after what they’d all been through, but she stopped him with a finger to his lips. He let her drag him towards the bunk, letting him settle before climbing in beside him and nestling into his side. 

He was amazed at the contentment he felt, when just a few short hours ago he was on the verge of a panic attack. Hera always had that effect on him, he supposed, and her and the kids were always good at distracting him from whatever was bothering him. He glanced at her to find that she was already asleep, her head resting on his shoulder and her hand gripping his. 

Kanan pressed a sleepy kiss to her forehead, still so damn _awed_ by this woman and this family that risked everything to save him. He never thought he was worthy, and he knew Hera knew that, but she always seemed to remind him of how special they thought he was without even trying. Whenever there were bumps, they were always there; this little family that they’d built together would always be theirs. He was still hurting-- hell, he’d be hurting for a _while_ , but right then and there, as his eyes closed and he drifted off, he felt like they could take on the entire galaxy, just the six of them, and they would _win._

Together, they could do anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said, there will be more to come in sequel fics. Also, you CANNOT tell me that this bunch has never had a group hug in all the time they were together-- I made it happen and it's canon now. 
> 
> Also, HunterByDayWhovianByNight is the best beta.


End file.
